I Love Who I Love
I’m a bisexual, Indian-American young woman, yet I feel disconnected from many aspects of myself. This is my story about my sexuality.
I feel disconnected from my sexuality due to the environment I’ve grown up in. My family has always accepted the idea that other people can be a part of the LGBTQ+ community, but any time I’ve hinted at the fact that I might not marry a man, it was immediately shut down. I was told that I must marry a man. As someone who is still a young woman, I have not had the courage to come out to many people. This platform is allowing me to share my stories while remaining anonymous. I feel disconnected from the LGBTQ+ community because I don’t have the courage to come out nor the ability to go places and support pride. However, the story of how I realized that I’m bisexual may resonate with many people.
It started in seventh grade. I was watching Supergirl, and I saw the stunning Melissa Benoist who plays Kara Danvers aka Supergirl on the television in front of me and my family. There were cute guys, but in the moment, I found Kara attractive. Not her love interest-but her. I immediately shut that idea down, but it resurfaced one year later when I was in eighth grade. I was watching yet another Arrowverse show: DC’s Legends of Tomorrow. I saw Caity Lotz, a beautiful icon, playing Sara Lance/the White Canary. I found her attractive, and I was shocked. I was told my entire life, that I shouldn’t feel this way about another woman. Since I was alone, I decided to research other aspects of the LGBTQ+ community, since I was limited in my knowledge (I only knew of individuals who were lesbian and gay). I discovered the term bisexual, which I would later use to describe myself. I started toying around with the idea that I may be bisexual, but I didn’t talk about it, and I tried to stop myself from thinking about it. The last character that made me embrace the fact that I was bisexual was Rosa Diaz on Brooklyn Nine-Nine. I developed a crush on her, and I cried during her coming out story, especially when her parents didn’t accept her, because I knew that my parents wouldn’t accept me.
“ I knew that my parents wouldn’t accept me. ”
I started researching bisexuality more, and I learned more about myself. I learned that even though I was attracted to women, it wasn’t a 50/50 split, that I was mainly attracted to men. I then became scared of the stigma surrounding the LGBTQ+ community. I became terrified of what I was entering. I started to fear telling anyone because I could get hate, and I cried myself to sleep knowing I would always have to be someone I wasn’t around my family.
The hate and stigma surrounding the LGBTQ+ community isn’t okay, and more people need to support the community because you shouldn’t be punished for who you love. This is my story, and I hope someone sees this and realizes that it’s okay to be yourself because the hate against us is completely unwarranted.