The Treacherous Trek to Self-Love
The mind is a complicated thing, it took years for humans to understand, and yet we haven’t discovered it fully yet. Mental health is one of the most important things to a person, and some of us take it for granted. Now the words “self-love” is critical when it comes to maintaining mental health. Many people mistake it for having a big ego or being self consumed. This is not at all the meaning! self-love means having a “regard for one's own well-being and happiness.” Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being for other people.
We have been raised in a generation where, from childhood, we have been taught to see all the things that other people have, that you don’t. Our society is built on ruthless comparison; we are constantly being compared to others and sometimes those people purposely try to undermine us. Today, I want to talk about my personal experience with mental health. For a while, I’ve had this constant shadow of stress, following me wherever I go. I am the oldest in the family, therefore I have to get into a good college, I have to be good at everything, and most of all, I have to be the perfect role model. The pressure of it all scared me, and threw me into an extremely sad state of being. I didn't really have a place to express my feelings. I remember in middle school I would come home from school and cry because I couldn't balance everything going on in my life. I put on a smile, a happy face around others. I got left out of friend groups. Trust me getting left out is not a good feeling. I got the impression that no one really liked me. I started to question myself, “What did I do wrong?”,“Why don’t they like me?”. The days I was at my worst, I would put on a fake smile, a mask if you will. It got to the point where I didn’t really know who I was anymore. I would constantly be acting like a different person, desperate to please the people around me. I started to not like myself, my face, my height, and even my personality.
If I were to go back and tell my elementary/middle school self something it would be this: “Be yourself. Don’t care about what they say. You are amazing just the way you are. Love yourself.” The reality is, life is too short to worry so much about what other people think of you! If people don’t like you for who you truly are, then they’re not your real friend. You have to take care of yourself, you must remember to treat yourself kindly. You should not be criticising yourself to the point where you are in tears by the time you come home from school. You have got to love yourself and all your imperfections. This might be really overwhelming for some people. Reading it myself it is. Please know that self-love is a journey, a long one. But you will get there! It has taken me a long time to get where I am, and I still am not completely satisfied. But, I can say looking back a year from now, I have made a good amount of progress.
Self-love takes practice and it’s a skill that takes work. Self-love is not about materialistic things, that instant gratification like buying yourself some new shoes. Self-love means giving yourself what your body, brain, and soul needs for the marathon that is life.
“Self-love means giving yourself what your body, brain, and soul needs for the marathon that is life. ”
It is working on nourishing yourself. Small things like a pamper day or accepting a compliment can make all the difference. Work on surrounding yourself with the people that love you. Find your true friends. Validate yourself, accept who you are because YOU are beautiful, unique, and important. Look in the mirror and see only your beauty instead of your flaws. Join me on this journey of learning to love yourself.